It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
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