Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
