alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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