Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
