I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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