i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Randomize
