There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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