Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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