This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
There's even glitter on my cock...
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