the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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