He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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