Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i think i have herpe
just one?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
