awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
bring money and cleavage
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
