Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize
