i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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