He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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