i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
