Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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