I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
