So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
