It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
