the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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