I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
