It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
