Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
ok first of all what the fuck
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
