The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Randomize
