sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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