Betty ford says i'm here all night
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
