she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
