used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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