Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
