before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
