You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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