My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
