You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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