the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
