They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
These tits shall not be calmed
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
