i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
