I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
