My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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