at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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