Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
