It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
