Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
