i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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