Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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