I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
