i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I am one with the molecules
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
