i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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