It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
