small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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